Indiffernt Ivan and Impolite Patricia

Everyone knows Curious George. Few people know of his cousin: Indifferent Ivan. Ivan was an adorable monkey. In fact he was even cuter than his famed cousin and even people who really did not like monkeys would have to pause and admire him for his cuteness.

Ivan, however, did not care. It wasn't that he didn' t like people... he just... didn't like people. He didn't dislike people either though. He was simply indifferent. This caused even the most enthusiastic admirers to loose interest in him after a few moments. It is only so long that one can admire a stuffed animal or a pretty scenery and Ivan was, if possible, less satisfying to admire.

Ivan spent his days eating bananas, ignoring admirers, and breathing. He had been passed along among so many different handlers he wasn't sure which person it was that he technically belonged to. Even the man in the Yellow Hat tried to take him in, expecting that Ivan would have a positive affect on George. He even left them home alone together, but when he returned Ivan was there staring at the wall and George was off causing shenanigans at the Opera House.

So the man with the Yellow Hat passed him off as well. Eventually Ivan ended up with a very rich and dull man who gave Ivan to his niece as a gift. Patricia was a wild, insatiable brat, who always got her way. It would seem then that Ivan was suited perfectly for her as no other animal would put up with her games of dress up and hide and seek and whatever else she wanted to make him do.

What people did not understand about Patricia however was that she wasn't a brat because she lacked an understanding for the emotions of others, but because she love chaos. She didn't really care about dress up or ponies or expensive shoes. She demanded those things, and only those things, that she suspected were hard or annoying to come by. She liked to see people suffer. Not in a physical bone breaking sense, but in an emotional stressed sense. She adored a furrowed brow, a forced smile, and she was thrilled at anyone who tried to argue at her. Screaming matches were always her goal.

When she had demanded a monkey for her birthday it was for the same reason that she demanded everything. She hadn't expected them to actually pull that one off, but when they did she got a little excited. She had heard of Curious George and was not convinced of his innocence. She thought he was malicious like her and admired his trouble making. She thought Ivan would be good partner in crime (as it would be nice to have one as it is hard to make friends when you strive to make everyone unhappy.)

But Ivan did not take enthusiasm in her games. He did not bother anyone else. He was content anywhere doing anything and usually just sat there eating bananas. This infuriated Patricia and she began to turn her torments on him. The first thing she did was deny him bananas, but Ivan was fine eating anything given him. So she denied him food. He ate carpet lint and made no complaint. Things continued on this way for a couple of weeks. Patricia made him sleep outside, stay in the closet all day, clean the horse stables, she tapped him in the face for 5 straight hours (the most peaceful 5 hours for everyone else in the house in many years. ) No matter what she did she would not receive a reaction.

Ivan for his part had never spent so much time with one person and while he truly was not annoyed by her antics, he understood that he was hers and this made him care a little, but only a little. He felt she must really like him to spend more than a few moments talking to him or more than a few days owning him. Patricia on the other hand was growing furious. She began throwing temper tantrums that would wake the neighborhood she took no interest in anything else except trying to make Ivan react. She even feigned being nice to him in the hopes of snatching that niceness away- nothing.

After 5 months Patricia went crazy. She absolutely lost her mind. One day after pestering Ivan with a fly swatter she went and sat in the middle of the yard and ceased to care. She became almost as indifferent as Ivan. Everyone was SO HAPPY about the change in her that they hailed Ivan as a hero. Ivan became famous in his own way and everyone was willing to give him whatever he wanted. But all Ivan wanted in the end was to sit out in the lawn with Patricia and care about nothing. It was his only sign of affection for anything. They grew old together this way. Not even really caring about each other fully and staring off into space eating bananas.

*Note

All Silly Stories will be written in traditional fashion. I.E. I will sit down for 10-15 minutes and knock it out on the spot and give a gentle once over before publishing.
This means there is likely to be typing errors. I am using Fire Fox spell check and the Blog spell check so they will be better than before and with the helpful edit option, if anything is to atrocious I can fix it.

Also I will try my best to write at least one a week.

They're Baaaack....

It seems I had really underestimated the power of the Silly Story. In honor of the old mailing list and the old site I have created this blog. You can be emailed when new stories are posted and they will all be automatically archived here. Plus now when you post a comment it's going to be right there. So feel free, loyal readers, to dive on into conversation.

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