Classic Silly Story: Voodoo Dick:The After Effect

So, one of my most remembered classic silly stories is also one of the raunchiest. If that is the right... word. It's based on a dirty joke called Voodoo dick. So, for the purpose of understanding the story, you must first understand the joke:

The joke:
A lonely woman goes on vacation to a very far away land. In search of an authentic souvenir, she wanders into a little shop and finds a strange object in a long velvet box. The shop owner explains that it is a voodoo dick and that it will have sex with whatever you tell it to. You just need the magic words. Closing the box, the shop keeper whispers the instructions.
The woman at first thinks it is all a gag but buys it anyway because she finds it amusing. A few weeks later when she is unpacking at home, she finds the voodoo dick. Curiosity gets the best of her and she takes it out of the box and says, "voodoo dick cat." The voodoo dick springs up, finds the cat, and starts having sex with it. Shocked the woman says, "voodoo dick stop!" and it does. Then, because she still can't believe it, she says, "voodoo dick dog." The same thing happens with the dog until she says, "voodoo dick stop!" and it does. So then she thinks about it for a long time. (I also like to imagine that she sanitizes it as well.) Finally, she gets ready and says, "voodoo dick me!" And it does. And it is great, but then she wants it to stop, so she says, "voodoo dick stop!" But it doesn't! So she says it again and again, but it's not working. So she rips it out and starts to run away.
And it chases her!
She gets in her car and drives, but she can still see it hopping down the road after her, so she slams on the gas. A cop sees her speeding and pulls her over. When he gets to her window she is hysterical.
"You don't understand," she says, "I'm being chased by the voodoo dick. It won't stop. It's coming right now!"
The cop smirks, crosses his arms and says, "Yeah, sure. Voodoo dick my ass."

And that's the joke. If told properly it can be quite amusing.

Anyway, believe it or not, I wrote a story based off of that.  It is as follows:

Classic Silly Story (Silly Story 129)
Voodoo Dick: The After Affect

The voodoo rested on the the therapist chair and recounted his tale.
"I can't believe they abused you like that," said the therapist.
"I know," said VD "I was so shocked. That man... in the uniform... I had never realized before that moment that I was ...."
"It's ok," said the therapist, "You can say it."
"Gay!" cried the voodoo dick "All those years of having sex with foreign women and animals... I knew I was lacking something in my job. I just wasn't satisfied. So then I thought, maybe it's because I never was satisfied. I was working for their pleasure not mine. So this last women, the idea came to me as she was pondering using me... maybe if I went until I was satisfied... well then... then maybe I could find some joy in my work."
"That's perfectly understandable," said the therapist.
"But she ran away and told me to stop. I became... is it ok? I mean I became..."
"It's ok to say it," said the therapist.
"I became angry. I was, well mad as hell and I wasn't going to take it anymore. But you see, I have to follow orders. I'd been following them for so long that when that man, the cop said..."Voodoo dick my ass!" I just obeyed... reflexes you know."
"I understand," said the therapist.
"And for the first time," said voodoo dick, "I was satisfied, me. I went first. It.. it... it was beautiful." The voodoo dick began to cry.
"It’s ok," said the therapist, "just relax and go on."
"But you know the worst part?" he went on "is that that cop... he .. he...."
"Yes? What is it?"
"He didn't even call!!!" The voodoo dick sobbed. The therapist beckoned for him to come over. The voodoo dick got out and hopped over to the therapist. He hopped right in his lap and the therapist put his arms around him. They snuggled for a few minutes while the voodoo dick collected himself.
"Some men are like that," said the therapist "but you know what voodoo... I'm not. I'm not the kind of professional that wouldn't return a call. And I know better than you think, what you are going through. You see, I'm gay too."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes. Not many people know it, but I'm completely flaming... and I think you're cute."
"Even though I don't have balls? Even though I'm basically a cheap vibrator with magical powers and the will to give great sex?"
"Oh yes, for those reasons the most. You know, I think you might be ready to begin a relationship. It would be good for you. And it so happens that I'm free..."
"Really?" said voodoo dick "Cause I thought you were pretty attractive, but you k now. The whole doctor patient relationship thing."
"Well from this moment you're cured!"
And the voodoo dick and the therapist lived happily ever after for about 2 years when the voodoo dick realized he was better than the therapist who had taken advantage of him in a weakened state. He sued for mental trauma and won everything the therapist had, including his convertible which the voodoo dick used to speed on the weekends to pick up cute gay cops.
The End

Moral:Snuggling in your therapists lap may lead to money, a convertible, and many cute gay cops.